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Cross the line and have a slight chuckle as Dani gives her thoughts on another intriguing episode of Impact!
Hello to my XR family, Welcome to my review. So this week in the life of Dani was somewhat interesting. For our anniversary the beau was kind enough to take me to the local Tattoo shop and get me my Monroe piercing that I’ve wanted since forever but didn’t get because I wanted my tattoo and such first. It’s huge now and the bar is really long due to swelling that will occur but anyway in a few weeks I’ll be able to downgrade to a much more cute, petite size, but anyways. Let’s blow your mind with a top 10 list: Top Ten Things That Could be in Booker T’s Briefcase: 1. A bake potato from Wendy’s. 2. The Identity of who drove the Hummer 3. Don West’s desire to say the word “creamed” 4. A smaller sized briefcase 5. The identity of who laid out Pacman Jones that one time. 6. That Jackie Gayda tape (Alex Shelley sold it to Booker for 50 bucks) 7. Stevie Ray 8. A copy of the movie “Ready To Rumble.” 9. The Madagascar wrestlers Kevin Nash trained with a while ago 10. His old G.I Bro outfit So yup, a Top 10 list, aren’t they fun? Let’s cross a line and such and review Impact, Dani style. As always if you do not enjoy my review, feel free to go smurf yourself! Last week stuff happened! With Smashing Pumpkins playing in the background! Welcome Mick! (with exclamation point for emphasis) is your crazy wacky and fun Title for this edition of Impact! Pyro and Ballyhoo proceed. We start with a match! Yes an Actual match! Angelina Love w/ “cute” Kip and other blonde vs. ODB: I like other blonde’s socks they’re cute. ODB has new entrance music. She also has nice ta- ta’s. Angelina is obviously jealous, because her's look all plasticity and fake and attacks off the bat. Don’t get me wrong I know ODB’s are fake but hey, they just look better. “Cute” kip distracts. Other blonde takes a play right out of the Alex Shelley playbook and sprays the liquid in ODB’s flask in her face! Winner: Angelina Love TO THE BACK: Jeff Jarrett is upset at Kurt Angle, so he’s going to the ring, next! IN THE BACK: ODB is mad, so she wants a match with the 2 blondes. Traci says okay. In a VIDEO PACKAGE we learn about Jeff Jarrett’s journey these past 3 weeks. In case you forgot. Mr. Jarrett makes his way to the ring. Where exactly is Planet Jarrett located? Is it by Uranus, sorry I had to. We get a veiled WWE reference as well. Uhg. We don’t know Jeff Jarrett, at least that’s what he keeps repeating. Vince McMahon name drop! Apparently Kurt made some bad comments on Vince, Jarrett has proof, air the video! Kurt said some bad words, and such. IN THE BACK Kurt Angle WALKED IN. Kurt is apparently late for work. Kurt is all frustrated he has to work, because he just got there! Monster Balls Qualifier match: The Motor City Machineguns (Sabin and Shelley) Vs. LAX (Hernandez & Homicide) : Well I can already see how this one is going to end, sigh. The Guns will probably end up in Terror dome erm Steel Asylum. Homicide looks nice in his jersey, not as nice as Chris Sabin in, well anything but still, nice work Homicide. Alex Shelley continues to put random lines in his hair. But anyways Hernandez in in control, he’s big and such. My god I just noticed Sabin’s sideburns, did I mention I have a thing for sideburns like that, damn you Chris Sabin and making me think dirty thought ahh *pauses and goes and take a cold shower* back, sorry about that. Hernandez would kill me, dead. Note to self, don’t make Hernandez mad, I wouldn’t like him when he’s mad. Winners: LAX, well at least Chris Sabin has cool sideburns now. Post match Alex Shelley flips off LAX. Ooohh Shelley is so badass. Mike Tenay is disgusted. Now I feel the need to go watch videos of Peter Hayes playing guitar on youtube, it’s got to be the sideburns and all. Sorry, moving on…. Rough Cut on Roxxi and such. Don West is looking all professional in his black and pinstriped shirt. They run down Bound for Glory. To quote the beau “Sting just looks like an angry old man.” Hey I thought it was funny. TO THE BACK! Jim Cornette is still around, now he’s yelling at Kurt. And he’s fined 25,000. Everyone hates Kurt! We get a VIDEO PACKAGE on Suicide. X-Division Title Match: Jimmy Rave vs. Eric Young vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir: JIMMY RAVE! Eric Young is still retarded and can’t figure out his pyro. At least it’s not Super Eric, thank god. Sheik’s pants are all shiny, how can you not love a guy in shiny pants? I mean this whole match I’m hypnotized by them. Winner: Sheik Abdul Bashir. Post match the ref stares down Sheik. TO THE BACK: AJ, Jay and Christian are in the back. Jay Lethal is talking normal again. I wonder if he’s still mad at Val? I wonder if Lethal has mad tambourine skills? Team 3D and Booker T w/wife Sharmell vs. Black Machismo, AJ Styles and Christian Cage: Booker still has his mysterious briefcase. Am I the only one who must always yell out the “I am, I am” part in Aj’s theme song? Jay Lethal goes to town on Booker T. Lol big Brother Ray. That could make for a hilarious sitcom. Pontificate? Did Don West just say Pontificate? Stop being so pedantic Don West. BRIEFCASE SHOT. So it’s just a weapon right? Winners: Team 3D and Booker T Post match Aj cries, Aj and Christian are so cute together. We have a special sit down interview with Sting and Samoa Joe. Sting comes off as an angry old man, right? At Bound for Glory IT’S ON! In the back interview chick whose job I want is with Matt Morgan and Abyss. Abyss thinks the interview chick is pretty. No wonder he was in the Looney bin. I kid, I kid. Actually Lauren and Abyss would be a cute, unconventional couple. TNA is coming to Glens Falls this Saturday, literally down the road from me. But because the beau has already seen TNA once this year I don’t think I’m going. I’m crying on the inside. I was going to invite all the wrestlers to my pad, I would have made them bagel bites or something, they could all come over and play with my new kitten. We could all have a sleepover! It would have been perfect. *cries* Beer Money comes out, yay Beer money. I like Robert Roode’s hat. He makes fun of Hector too. They say they’re the best and such. Team 3D comes out and kindly disagree. Here come Morgan & Abyss too, apparently they disagree as well. Lax also disagrees. Jim Cornette comes out, he cancelled the qualifying for Monsters Ball, poor machine guns, there match was worthless. It’s now a four way Monsters ball match with the aforementioned teams. Blondes & Cute Kip are WALKING! Video Package on the Knockouts, again. The Beautiful peeps W/ “Cute” Kip vs. ODB & Rhaka Khan: Rhaka has some crazy makeup. Okay I don’t know why but I’m getting a kick out of Andrew Thomas in this match, his facial features are hilarious. Winners: Rhaka and ODB post match the Beautiful peeps beat down the other two and Rhino does his job and random run in guy #2. Go Rhino! The moment of the evening comes, out comes Mick Foley. He’s honored to be in the same ring Cute Kip was in just minutes ago! Aren’t we all Mick, aren’t we all. We get another Vince name drop, ugh! Kurt Angle who is still mad he has to work comes out. You know if we all showed up to our jobs late like Kurt does, we’d all be fired by now. Kurt delivers a low blow to Jarrett about his wife, that was awful. Not cool guys. Kurt says funny things about Don West being replaceable. Don West is irreplaceable! I love Don West, in a purely platonic way. Mick Foley will be your special enforcer at Bound For Glory, much like Kurt Angle was when he came to TNA. Final Tallies: Don West Creamed Count (The number of times Don West said the word creamed) : 0 What happened Don West? You used to be cool.
# Of Video Packages: 3
# Of Times Someone Was Shown WALKING : 2
# Of “To The Back” Segments: 5
# Of Beatdowns That Took Place: 1 Quick & Dirty Results: - Angelina Love def. ODB
- Monster's Ball Qualifying Match: vs. LAX (Hernandez & Homicide) def. The Motor City Machineguns (Sabin and Shelley)
- X-Division Title Match: Sheik Abdul Bashir def. Jimmy Rave vs. Eric Young
- Team 3D and Booker T w/wife Sharmell def. Black Machismo, AJ Styles and Christian Cage- ODB & Rhaka Khan def. The Beautiful Peeps w/ Cute Kip, who’s not that cute. So there was this week's installment of Impact. I hope you enjoyed my take on Impact. Feel free to comment on my article. We’ll see you next week, till then, keep rocking!
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i might even 
. i love 
ies im tottaly RONF 
ing. bet you cant decode that! lol, the guns can play with your kitty, lol
i'm so lookin forward 2 this now!